When will you realize?

If you ever met this girl,tell her
that I've been loving her
for a quite so long and
I need her in my life
every moment
because
I love
HER!

Every night,
The stars seems to faded,the glitter of moonlight seems to washed away,and so does my smile.I put my life on the line just  to get your attention and I set fire in my soul just to make you feel relief.But you.Never realize that i've been loving you a little too much.
I never been your favorite,but you always be mine.When ever you smile,I know it wasn't for me,but when ever I smiled,it's picture perfect just for you.But I'm just too invincible for your heart and soul.But I still trying to open  your heart and make my love obvious because I know how suck my life would be without you.But no matter  how hard I tried,you keep on knock me out from your sight.But why?
Oh Allah.
Would she ever realize that I'm the one who always be by her side when ever she needs somebody to protect her,to chill her down,and being the punching bag everytime she's on her nerves?I wish she will,one day.Insyallah.

Dear Allah,
I'm hoping the best for her.Please do me a favor.She meant someone in my life.Someone essential to my soul.Please do protect Nadiah bt Mohd Azhar from any harm and danger.Please do alert me when ever she in a deep sorrow.Because I couldn't bare to watch her heart torn apart.No matter who I am to her,she will always be my number one girl.Be it now in past,present and future. =')

Your Fake smile.I've seen it. =)

Fake smile.You didnt think that I couldn't see it,don't you?Well,it's obvious.I'm starting to like you.More than friends.And starting to cares about you more than any other guys did.But you seems to ignored me.I was just about to rise when she pushed me down.And I'm aghast when you were the one who  I saw when I opened my eyes after being buried in sorrow for such a long time.

Sun rays shines brightly in the afternoon.But I've seen rays that surprisingly brighter than it.It's your smiles and giggles that outshines the world.In this misery,your smiles and your presence is what I need to get through and overcome this catastrophe.But the bottom line is,will you be beside me and fought with me?Or will you get rid of me just like she did?I wish I'd knew.

I've learned from my mistakes,and I took granted for every things that I've done.I knew I was a fiasco,but believe me,things changed.As the world spins,my attitude and my soul washed and revived.Things all around me is getting better.So does my life.Though it's empty,but it's occupied with reminisce of the old me.But what are reminisce when it's not being appreciated?

Life must goes on.Whatever happened,I've promised my self to stiffen up my heart and overcome it with a little help of wisdom.Things might not go on my way,but I do believe that it will U-turn to me one day.Till then,I'll keep on dreaming of it.Insyallah. =)

My Miss Dorae-ee-Mon and our Friends

Who is this girl?Who is SHE?How on earth she caught my attention?
There's thousands of them out there,but how could she snatch my eyes whenever I saw her?There's rumors about us being together,but  the truth is I'm still single.Who started it?Is it me making it so obvious,AGAIN?I guess so.But let the time decided.I couldn't afford to fall deep down and sit in my own misery as I used to.I wanna  be a better me. =)
Back to the topic.

Who is this Miss Doraemon?How does she looks like?What's her name?
Well all the answers will be revealed by the end of this post.
Before that,let us have a look at this picture of us.

Miss Doraemon (spain jersey and Along)

The picture above was taken on 6th of September 2011.A day before her birthday.Nur Shalika Noor Azaha is her name.And back there,is Along.Her sister.It was snapped in Nur Izzaty Liyana's huge,beautiful and royal-ish palace!We bought the cake and celebrate her 17th birthday =) Does the cake looks yummy? <3 hee. =D
Before celebrating her birthday,Nizar,Fazrul and I went to Izzaty's house in order to celebrate our raya.We were served some spicy foods!But we kept on saying that it was delicious  even though smokes were coming out from our ears!Oh sorry.forgot to mention that Nizar was fasting on that day.hee.sorry Nizar. =)
I finally met Izzaty's sister.Hahaha.she's smokyyyy type! wohoo.Not to mention one of my friend was ATTRACTED to kakak farah.HAHAHA.Nizar!dream on braather =P Hee.

You guys probably wondering who's this Izzaty Liyana I've been talking about right?Well this is she. :)

Shalika and Nur Izzaty Liyana

Arent both of them are gorgeous? =) Oh not to mention,they are SMART as well =) Smart,Gorgeous,Good Personality,what  else can I say?They are all rounded ;) Oh Oh.did I mentioned that I used to be Izzaty's stalker?HAHAHAHAHA.okay.that was an extra information.HAHAHA.But that was 2 years back.Now we are buddies. =) kan kan? =P Oh dear.Kakak Farah went to United Kingdom to further up her studies. =/ going to miss her soon. =(

Then a week later,Naziha called us to attend her raya open house.I was thinking of not going but as I was informed that Miss Doraemon and her friends wanted to go,so I grab Asyraf's hands and whisper to him that we MUST GO.Asyraf was hesitated to go,but I managed to convinced him to join me.After an hour of convincing and seducing(okay that sounds wrong) Asyraf had made up his mind to join me for the open house.I was jumping like there was no tomorrow.HOOREEY! hee.

As we reached there,
Farizuan and Helmi was enjoying the foods.It was only two of  them.Naziha was no where to be found.The clock shows 7.50 pm and we havent done with Maghrib yet.Hence with a flash of light,we took wuduk and pray in Ziha's brother's room.It wasnt big nor small,but just fit for both of us.(Lucky Asyraf were smaller than me,HAHAHA)
Then after done with Maghrib,we had our conversation.And we also met Ziha's mother.She gave us good advices on being a teenager.Ziha,your MOTHER AWESOME GILA! =D This are some photo at Ziha's house.

me and farizuan =D

Asyraf dinodai? :O

Isnt those picture are hilarious?Well that is just us! =)

A few minutes later,Farizuan and helmi have to go back home :( awwww! :(
But then, after 10 mins they left us,Shalika and the geng showed up!When I saw one of her friend came into Ziha's house.I was about to shoutÁAHHH.IKA DAH DATAAANG! but then I hug Asyraf instead.Hee.

Then we waited for them to make a move for dinner.We actually cried of hunger but we waited for them.Hence we out blast our empty stomach with some bihun =D I  was about to scoop up some bihun,then I looked at Shalika and remembered that she was on DIET!HAHAHA.okay.seriously.Why are you on diet?Arent you perfectly beautiful enough? =D Then out  of the blue,there's this an unknown men entered her house and invited us for a dinner event.I was sooo excited!Without any time to waste,we make a move for our dinner.
Here's are some of our pictures during that night

This is all I have tonight. :) Have fun reading it <3

Oh thanks Ika for lending me your chemistry book.Hee =D

I love you,but you wouldn't love me back =')

It's been a zillion times I've keep on repeating the same thing.I love you.I love you.Without having any doubt,my heart keep on giving you all it's best to love you everyday and honestly said,every minute it's missing you.But I told to my heart that you couldn't take it as it is.It always questioning me WHY you couldn't ?Well,I've no answer for it.

As the days goes on,
You keep on telling me that you know who are you to me.You told me that you respect me.But you still did the same thing.You still playing with my heart,my feelings and my fantasy.You know what is it like to suffered in love,and you told me how badly you injured when you were with you ex,but have you ever wonder how amazingly you have injured the one who always keep on saying that he loves you more than his life?

Then you told me that you had enough with me.And you once want me to stop saying that I love you.You used to told me that you want a guy who always cares about you,took you as you are,love you more than anything else,and when I've evolved to be the men of your dream,you tried to get rid of me.You know how hard is it to be your men of your dream?How hard to transformed being HIM instead of being myself?Why you couldn't be aware of any changes that I've made to myself just to show you that I love you more than anything else?

And here come the part where I really get annoyed of my self.

Surprisingly how you managed to make me cried and bagging for your attention everyday and how sick I felt when saw you saying that you in love with another guy who didn't ever tried his best to show you that you are the one for me.I know I wasn't the best,but I've gave you my best in everything just to be with you.How does it feels like to make me hanging on my hopes and how does it feels like to shut my dreams when I was fantasized you in it?

I felt very depressed when ever seeing his face.It's like I've lost a battle between my love and my life.My life isn't getting better as everyone observed,but at least it has been revived by every reminisce that had shattered between us.Every night,I catches every tear drops before it reaches the floor and let our reminisce be the remedy for my injured,insulted and disgraced heart.If you can only observed what had happened to me,and how your presence is needed here,you would know how great  I've suffered in between this catastrophe.Till then,I will always hope that  Allah will open your eyes and heart to see how badly am I needed you in my life. =')

Can I give you a fake smile? =)

People might saw me laughing.Might saw me giggles or even smile and winked at them.But beneath those laughter,deep inside of me,there's always a presence of sadness.A presence of sorrowness.Despite the adversity in my life,so far,I had never show any sign of giving up nor quit in facing it.

There's this girl who kept me holding and suffered in bagging for her love.It was my mistakes who keep on believing that she's the one for me.As my mistakes getting bigger as the days getting older,I felt that I'm in love with a girl who couldn't accept me for who I am.But between those mistakes,there's a sweet reminisce between us and I always imagining it when ever I missed her.

Nadiah.
How does it feel to received a text every time you woke up,every night before you sleep and at the end of the sentences there's a word 'sayang' with a smile?Doesn't it feel good?And how does it feel to have someone who always keep on giving his best to ensure you notice every minutes that he loved you?Aren't you feel glad?Well,if that ever happened to me,I would be thank full to Allah if you were the one who gave me those texts.

People says that,
Words cant describe love.Hence I want to prove it to you that I love you.And I want you to see how serious I am falling for you.I gave you the best of me and yet,the only thing I received was your furore and anger.I don't mind to gain your anger and I don't mind if you keep pulling me down,because I know,I can get my self back up and keep on showing that I love you.Aren't it weird?But that's  the fact.And that fact is the weirdest fact ever exist in this world.

Maybe people saw me as a 'happy-go-lucky' guy.But trust me,when it comes to love,I'm the weirdest fiasco you ever seen.I still believe that marrying you is my destiny.But you.Yourself doesn't want to fulfill it.Back those days when you were no one to me,I keep on thinking that to make you one of my scandals.But as I know you better,I fell in love with you.I quit being a playboy and start to grow sincerity and being faithful  towards you.But now,when I'm fully yours,you treated me like no body.I used to remember how you told me how  hard you pushed me down,and how great your anger towards me,I will always be by your side and will always whisper to you that I love you.But one thing I want you to do.Quit.Quit fooling around with love.Because what goes around comes around.If you couldn't see that i love you with your own eyes,then open your heart and observe me suffered on my knees bagging desperately for your presence in my life.Insyallah.Insyallah you will notice every scars you've put on me and you'll see how my smile faded every night when you showed your furore on me.Till then,my heart will keep on bleeding and you will keep on ripping me apart.Insyallah.One day you'll open your eyes.And see the truth,nothing else than the truth. =')

Raya Konvoi. =)

Who know today would be amazed with joys and laughters of Aidil fitri?Girls and boys came together and celebrates it despite the S.P.M trials we are facing?After a week of suffered in front of BOOKS,we tried to chill and relax a bit.Our eyes and wisdom were fatigue,but we managed to revived it with a gather of happiness in this  prosperity month.

We kick off first to FARAH's house.Her house was filled with beautiful girls.Adia,Mastura,Neesa,both Aisyah and not to mention two most cute and mischievous boys,Ammar and Hakim.As Charles and I arrived,without any time to waste,we as the SPECIAL guest,grabs our lunch and starts to dig some delicious dishes that were served.After had some bite of biscuits,we killed the time by talking and (Charles and I) observing the girls who wore baju kebaya.They were really gorgeous in it.I ponder to myself,what if.WHAT IF.WHAT IF AISYAH wore baju kebaya?Wouldn't it be awesome?

Next we off to Neesa's house.We really had a difficult time to get there.Imagined,Adia's Gen 2 is the only transport we had.And all of us were in it.Aren't we look really PACKED in it?But that's  aren't the bottom line.What worst is when Ammar have to sit on my lap and make some really REALLY mischievous actions.How could he....okay.Not gonna talk about it.
....

As we arrived in Neesa's house,we make ourself at home.Everyone were enjoying their conversations on what had happened between Ammar and me in the car.Oh god.Come to think of it,I was a lilhangdog with my own gayness.Erggh.SHAWAL.YOU ARE STRAIGHT.
NOT GAY. a reminder to my self* I felt a lil
dizzy.So I asked Neesa for penadols.She gave it to me and I took it straight away.
When my headache were faded,I
went to her kitchen and decided to offer a help.
She,Charles and Aisyah taught me how to slice some fish balls and
vegetables.As I was slicing the vegetables,Adia,out of sudden sprinkle water on me.
I was aghast but my tired eyes
were actually revived thanks to her sprinkled.
Then when I am done with slicing,Neesa asked me to watch how to
prepare fried mee.
As I was watching,she asked me to help her with some stuff to add in the fried mee.As the fried
mee cooked perfectly,I then served them on the table.Everyone were doubting my cook.
They afraid that they might
end up food poisoning.But thank god,none of them were poisoned.Alhamdullilah.

Next destination is my house.Adia and Mastura took their first trip to my house because they wanted to fetch the
girls after the boys.As we arrived in front of my gate,we were bored to death.So I've decided to grab my car keys
and show the boys my place.We took a spin for minutes and yet they were no where to found.I was a lil bit worried
about the girls.We decided to take another spin but yet a GEN 2 with a Mc Donald's sticker came right in front us.
I felt relief.Without any time to waste,we enter my small house.

To my surprise,Mama already prepared us with spegheti.It was really mouth water-ish!Nothing can beat my mom's
cooking skills!Everyone were enjoying it with a lil bit of MTV's entertainment on Astro.As the time past by,we
took some snaps and reveal our joyness in it.Thank you Allah.Thank you for giving me a day to spent with my
friends and also my extended family members.Thank you so much =) I hope today reminisce will never ceased =)
Insyallah =)

There's things that I want you to know. =)

Dear girl.
I know I'm might be pathetic when it comes to love.Maybe over protective when it comes in defending your dignity.Maybe jealous of every guy who caught your attention.But believe me,I did that because ILOVEYOU.I swear to god that ILOVEYOU. =)

I'm a guy without awesome look,fantastic personality or brilliant wisdom,but there's something that other guys out there doesn't have what I have.LOVE.Yes.They want to be with you because you pleased them with your looks.With your mischievous moves or perhaps make you one of their tools in life.But to me,you are my WORLD,my DREAMS and my LIFE. =)

People may end up thinking that you aren't the one for me.People may look down on us,but don't worry about what they think or say because they'll stop talking when they could see what we'll achieved one day.We can show the world what we are made off. =)

Nadiah.
I'm giving my best in our relationship.I know how important education is to us,and how worth is our life are.I just want you to know that I want to live my life with you.I'm not looking for a night-relationship with you,but I want to be the last men who be by your side at the end of your life.I know it's too early to say these things,but believe me,I'm going to work hard for us.Like,REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD for us =)

Till then,
What I can only do is provide us with doa for our success be it now nor future. =)
And Thanks for always remember that I love you.I hope you will always remember that my love towards you will never ever CEASED. =)

if a guy said he doesn't care about you,but he's still JEALOUS

I know my previous post is about how furore I am and how frustrating I am about this girl kan,But how pathetic, I do CARE about her.I keep on saying how bad she treated me,but deep inside of me,she's the only one who own my heart.I've tried to give it to other girls out there,but,I COULDN'T.Only Allah know how I felt deep inside.If a guy said he doesn't care about you,but he still jealous of you,what does it mean?I'm in the middle of hardship in choosing what's right and what's wrong.I wanted to stay faithful to her,but what about my soul?It has been suffercating for months.Is it fair for me and my soul?If love need sacrificed,well,I'll be proud to sacrifice my soul for it.But I only have one soul.Should it been the sacrificer in this ritual named LOVE?Gosh.I just wonder,have she ever think about my love before  she said that she LOVE him?I just wonder how could she gave her heart to someone she just knew when I was on my knees and bagging for it?How could SHE?gosh.Am I the one who need to blame for all this shit,or am i the one who need to clean this shit?oh god.Please show me what's best for me.PLEASE.I'm bagging you. :(

Enriqa The Guinea Pig =)

Today we have a new family member.Unlike us,she 's damn small and cute!She couldn't eat rice nor stand on two legs like us.She's white!Perhaps as white as the snow?I don't know..But She's WHITE!She leave in a white-ish cage.She's gentle and kindda shy with us,or should I say,AFRAID!She doesn't bite at all.Her name is Enriqa.She also have her own jawanese name!It's MONDHOK(oh how you pronounce it again,DAD? err -.-)!It was given by my dad,who unfortunately,a JAWANESE!But being a JAWANESE is AWESOME with a capital A!
That's All from me now. :) I'll upload her picture by umm.tonight?But no promises though =) Have fun.And SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO EVERYONE! :)