I hate it when see you cry.

There's thousands girls in this world who I dont give a damn  at all,but there's a girl that I really hate to see a sad smile on her face.I dont know why,but I just hate it.I couldnt say that I love her,because it wont be fair for the friendship that we've build for almost 2 years.She's meant something to me.Something way more important than my life.She's like my own family.I treated her like my own sibling.I know I have a bad temper when things doesnt goes my way,but  shit keep on repeating.And those shits keep on getting bigger everyday.I knew I should    be more focusing on my studies rather than blamming my parents just for a stupid black berry curve.Ma,I'm sorry for raising my voice and say those words.Pa,I knew I shouted that  I hate you,but deep inside of me,I keep on repeating that I love you.I know I never been the best son that you ever wanted,but trust me,I've tried my best.Sometimes when I think it all over again,it was always my fault.My fault who always eager for something that wasnt important at all.I'm sorry to my my sister for dragging you inside of this shit.Ma,Pa,Syah,I've been the worst guy on earth,but will you forgive this guy if he said that he's so freaking sorry for every shit he had done?I wish you guys will. :(